regret…

Why did I act that way last night? why did I get high? I never should have done that. Now I can’t get as much done as I wanted. Way to be responsible dumbass. I learned things I should have learned already. Always go to a party with a friend. Always. You never know what might happen. And 2, don’t get high around people I don’t know.  Regardless of how they might insist. I think I want to stay clean. I’m just annoyed at my lack of self control. And how I fail at meeting anyone but the losers. I feel like I can act normal around all the rejects. This is stupid. I should be able to act normal around normal people too

And I should have more fucking RESTRAINT! If I’m not using if for something I need, or if I know I don’t have anything important to do, its ok. But not when I know I have work to get done.

I want a dog or a cat. I still don’t think I can leave though… I need to figure out what I’m doing this summer. Maybe I can get a job over winter break at something sweet if I get a vehicle. Motorcycle? Keep it at moms? lol.

~ by atriumofdusk on November 21, 2009.